Sunday, September 20, 2009

Talk of the Town (2003)

So the other day I was sitting on the rug with the criminals, reading them K.Y. Craft's gorgeously illustrated version of "Cinderella," when I hear a scream from the back of the rug."MISS VICTORIA, MISS VICTORIA!!!!!" Everyone is pointing at Brian, who is holding his bloody tooth up to me with an expression on his face which pricelessly illustrates his thoughts ("WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!"). The blood causes minor mayhem, but I dispatch him to the nurse with a friend, stick his tooth in my pocket until I can dig out a plastic baggie, and sit down to continue the story.

On a whim, I hold the book and ask the class, "Is the Tooth Fairy the same as the Fairy Godmother?"

You would have thought I had asked if chocolate ice cream was the same as vanilla. The looks of scorn! The disbelief!

Class: NO!

Me: No? Well, how are they different?

Kelsey: The Tooth Fairy could only give you money! (whereas the Fairy Godmother has got stuff like ballgowns and coaches to hand out)

Me: Well, but they both can do magic, right?

Class: Yes!

Me: Are they both ladies?

Class: (pausing to look sorrowfully at dumb Miss Victoria) Yes!

Me: Well are there boy fairies? (spare me, they don't get double entendre)

Class: (pausing to look sorrowfully at dumb Miss Victoria) No!

Me: Well what are boys if they can do magic?

Darriel: (soberly) a doctor....(he thinks a minute)...or a witch.

Me: Well...but how is a witch different from a fairy?

Destiny: (pausing to look sorrowfully at dumb Miss Victoria) A witch have a broom, and a fairy don't!

Glad we got that sorted out. Boy was I confused.

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